this isn’t it

“A place belongs forever to whoever claims it hardest, remembers it most obsessively, wrenches it from itself, shapes it, renders it, loves it so radically that he remakes it in his own image. ” JD

The thing is, as we grow up we have to decide who and what to leave behind. It takes a real conscious effort to decide the people and places you don’t walk away from.

And walking away is something I’m quite good at.

But on those rare occasions when I’m not the one packing up and moving on, it kind of takes the breath out of me when I find someone else walking away.

I feel like with Denver, I’ve built up this sort of obligation to the city. Like I owe it to myself to stay here–to my new apartment-it’s hard wood floors, to millenium bridge-it barely shakes anymore, to good people & good jobs. The truth is I have this embedded but often distraught relationship with this little-big city. I love it, I really do–especially now but selfishly and secretly I just want so much more. I never had this feeling with my sweet southern comfort of a hometown. I always knew I’d leave there. And I did. And I don’t ever, even for one moment regret that transition.

I think I just need it to rain today.